Bigger Than Circumstances

Our testimonies gives us the faith that we need to endure adversity and resist temptations, they give us the humility and courage that we need to follow Christ and the leaders of His church in all things.

I know that the leaders of the church are chosen by God; from Adam to Thomas S. Monson. Whether it is by God's own voice or by the voice of His servants, it is the same. I trust God, because of His omnipotent wisdom and power and perfect love. When I know that a leader in the church is chosen and ordained of God, I can follow their lead without hesitancy or reservation. I haven't been asked to give all that I have to the church, but I have been asked to be willing to sacrifice all that I possess, even my own life if necessary, for the building up the Kingdom of God on the earth and for the establishment of Zion.

There have been many times throughout my life when I was in so much pain, physical and/or emotional, that the only person that could give me comfort was Christ. I made it through those times and every time I did, my faith became a little bit stronger. So far, none of my trials have been more than I could handle. But I am still living. I will have many more experiences that will try my faith. God will try His people. If you haven't already been tried beyond what you think is your limit, you will be. I will be. God wants us to be faithful, holy, humble and contrite and He knows that trials, exercising faith in our trials, is how we get there.

Because of my experiences, I can stand with Peter to testify, "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." Peter 1:7

Adversity was a topic that was talked about by 9 speakers during General Conference week this month. My Patriarchal Blessing warns me that I will be tried to the extent that it will appear that I will fall by the wayside. I can't imagine right now what that would take. It has always been easy for me to follow the leaders of the church, even blindly sometimes; knowing that they are being directed by God. Will that ever change? No! Never. We are promised that God will never allow His prophets and apostles to lead us astray.

Will I be able to do whatever it takes to follow the Prophets at all times and in all circumstances? Will I stay loyal to my Father in Heaven when things get tougher than I think I can handle? We are promised that we will not fall by the wayside if we remain faithful to our Father in Heaven.

I have stories; personal and borrowed to support everything that I believe about Christ and His gospel and the power of his atonement. My testimony is strengthened when I hear others tell of how they know that God lives and loves them, because the Spirit of God witnesses to me that what they are saying is true. And in some cases, my stories have helped others to believe. I love hearing and sharing testimonies, because of the Spirit that is felt.

What is a testimony? Is it what one believes or does it have to be knowledge based on experience to qualify as a testimony. When I hear the word testimony, I think of one who testifies at a court of law. Witnesses are asked to testify of something that happened or did not happened, in efforts to sort out the truth for conviction or release from conviction. If that witness said; "I believe that he or she ___, because someone told me ____"; that would not hold too much validity in court. But if that witness said; "I know that he or she ____, because I was there, I witnessed it myself". That would hold validity and with some kind of evidence, likely frame the one being accused. Believing is good. Testimonies start with belief, but until one knows without a doubt, there is room for faltering.

Are we witnesses of Christ's love? We experience His tender mercies and witness His miracles as answers to our prayers. Are we willing to share our testimonies with others for their sake and for the sake of furthering our Father's work? We testify to others to build their faith, bringing them closer to Christ. And when things arise in our own lives that test our faith, we don't fall away or even waiver. We stay strong in the face of adversity because we know, we learn from experience that we, with Christ's help are bigger than our circumstances.

Satan will be bound

"And because of the righteousness of his people, Satan has no power; wherefore he cannot be loosed for the space of many years; for he hath no power over the hearts of the people, for they dwell in righteousness, and the Holy One of Israel reigneth." 1 Nephi 22:26

Growing up, I always loved the promise that there will be a day when Satan will be bound, powerless and unable to tempt me. Today I realize that I don't have to wait for the millennium to have that promise realized, he can be powerless now. Some days he is powerless, because of where I am mentally and spiritually and other days he is successful at bringing me down. With his deceiving and cunning ways, I am persuaded to fall into his traps.

He has power to bruise my heel, but I have power to crush his head! I am given that power by God. Through following His commandments and His promptings every time they come, I am living in God's power. Satan wants me to feel shame when I mess up and even sometimes when I don't mess up. But my testimony that God loves me without condition and forgives my repentant heart, brings me out of shame and fills my heart with hope and peace.

Rearing Children in a Polluted Environment

The suggested article on Instagram's BOM365 is to read is; Rearing Children In A Polluted Environment, a talk given by Joe J. Christensen in 1993.

He said: "In a recent conference, Elder Boyd K. Packer said, “As we test the moral environment, we find the pollution index is spiraling upward” (Ensign, May 1992, p. 66). The Apostle Paul foresaw “that in the last days perilous times shall come” (2 Tim. 3:1). And speaking of the last days, the prophet Moroni declared, “Yea, it shall come in a day when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31).

Sadly, the effects of this great pollution are perhaps most evident in the mass media, films, television, and popular music. Of this, Senator Robert D. Byrd said, “If we in this nation continue to sow the images of murder, violence, drug abuse, … perversion, [and] pornography… before the eyes of millions of children, year after year and day after day, we should not be surprised if the foundations of our society rot away as if from leprosy” (Michael Medved, Hollywood vs. America, New York: Harper Perennial, 1992, p. 194).

Parents who really want to receive assistance must return to the basics—the fundamentals of the gospel. Among all that could be said, here are four specific suggestions that, if applied, can make a positive difference:

• First, do not be afraid to set clear moral standards and guidelines. Be sure to say no when it is needed.
• Second, teach your children to work and to take responsibility. Especially in urban settings, too many children are growing up in an environment where they do not have enough to do.
• Third, create an environment in your family in which spiritual experiences can occur.

“I feel certain that if in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes... The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase; the pure love of Christ will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.” (Ensign, May 1980, p. 67).

• Fourth, follow the counsel of the prophets. Listen to their messages at this conference and re-read their counsel to us from prior occasions. If your personal and family practices do not conform to the counsel received, then, for your own family’s sake, make some changes."

I appreciated this article. My 4-year-old daughter loves to "watch". Sometimes I feel like I would love to get rid of every source of media in our home, but that's not realistic, nor logical. I just need to steer her interest away from watching so much, by giving her more things to do, more time away from home, more work to do, more ways to use our minds and our bodies. She is still young enough that boundaries are respected and even in some cases appreciated. After reading this article, I commit to be better at this. I will be more consistent and strict with time limits and with helping her to find activities that inspire her and take over her interest of watching. It would also be good for me to practice saying the word "no" a little more often.

Day 23: Persevering Through Obstacles

Lehi and his family had to endure many trials; their faith was tested, their patience was tried. They had many obstacles that threatened their lives, their state of minds, their immediate and eternal blessings. But they persevered. They (well most of them) put their trust in God and endured through it all.

The talk that I read today was given by Joseph B. Wirthlin in 1987, called Never Give Up. He said:
"In the context of my remarks today, perseverance means to continue in a given course until we have reached a goal or objective, regardless of obstacles, opposition, and other counter influences. What is our course, what is our goal, and what are the obstacles and opposition that would hinder or divert us? Our course as members of the Church should be compliance with the principles and ordinances of the gospel. Our goal should be to fill the measure of our creation as sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father—that is, to reach exaltation and eternal life. The obstacles and opposition we meet are the temptations and enticements of Satan that are designed to frustrate the Lord’s work and glory: “To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39)...

I believe that essentially all significant achievement results largely from perseverance.

Jesus persevered through the final days of his mortal life as the mood of the people changed from shouts of “Hosanna to the Son of David” (Matt. 21:9) to cries of “Crucify him” (Mark 15:13). He endured the indignities and physical abuse of his trials before Jewish and Roman leaders. Through his atonement and resurrection, he provided for all mankind both immortality and the possibility of eternal life. He paid the penalty for our sins if we will repent of them. How grateful I am for the effect upon me of his love and his perseverance!"

Relationships, especially family relationships and more specifically marriage relationships require perseverance. There is nothing that we can do in this life that won't be forgiven by God except murder or denying Him after a personal witness (at least that is my understanding). It should be the same for us, forgive seventy times seven. Walk away if you have to for a brief moment, in the face of abuse, but instead of retaliating or seeking revenge or holding on to a grudges, turn the other cheek. Develop traits of charity; long suffering and kindness no matter what, avoid self-righteousness and pride, don't take offense, and never give up. Hope all things, believe all things and endure all things. This is what I am learning in my own life, in relationships with people who are difficult to understand or to love. Loving the unlovable is the greatest obstacle in my life right now. This obstacle is trying to deceive me, to convince me that I don't have it in me to love like Christ loves, it persuades me to give up, it tempts me to retaliate or take offense or walk away ~ forever.

Christ gives me the strength that I need to do the right things. He provides an example for how I can be and he offers me forgiveness when I fall short. This life is a time for us to prepare to meet God. We will never be able to do that in the current human state that we are in. We need to purge and purging comes through enduring. Through Christ, I will let these obstacles build the characteristics in me that will help me endure to the very end.

Day 13: Living Water and The Tree of Life

In his talk, A Reservoir of Living Waters, Elder Bednar said; "Life springs from water, life is sustained by water, water is the medium that is used to sustain all known forms of life. Life could not exist without the availability of and access to adequate supplies of clean water. Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting live John 4:13-14. As water is necessary to sustain physical life, the Savior and His doctrines, principles and ordinances, are essential for eternal life. You and I need His living water daily and in ample supply to sustain our ongoing spiritual growth and development.

The scriptures contain the words of Christ and are a reservoir of living water. to which we have ready access and to which we can drink deeply and long. Christ is the fountain of living waters. By reading, studying, searching and feasting upon the words of Christ as contained in the Holy Scriptures, we can receive both spiritual direction and protection during our mortal journey.

The tree of life in Lehi's dream represents the Love of God. When Nephi was given the privilege of seeing the same dream that his father saw, with interpretations, He saw "...that [Christ] was lifted up upon the cross and slain for the sins of the world." 1 Nephi 11:33. The rod of iron, which represented the word of God, led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life, which waters (and tree) are a representation of the love of God 1 Nephi 11:25. Christ's atoning sacrifice was the perfect demonstration of God's love and the scriptures lead us to receiving that perfect and pure love.

In Jacob chapter 3, verses 1&2, Jacob speaks to the pure in heart, saying: Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction. O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever.

I love the symbolism in Lehi's dream! The path that leads us to eternal life and God's love is lined by a rod of iron (the word of God). Hold on to that rod and you won't get distracted, persuaded or fall away when the clouds of darkness (forget mists!) ~ come along or when you stumble upon a pot hole or two or trip in the ditch that lines the path that you are traveling on. In your travels, when you enter temptations; the discouraging periods of life; and the trials of your faith, hanging on to the word of God will keep you on the path, it gives you something to hold on to when you can't see anyone or anything else around you on your journey. The glamour and pride of the world will try to distract you, don't be persuaded by their flattery, the world promises immediate gratification, but don't forget ~ you are on the path that leads to eternal life. Don't let go, don't give up, don't lose sight, especially in the mists or clouds of darkness!

And on a personal note... A section of my patriarchal blessing says; "Now Dear Sister, in your life, one of the things that will strengthen you will be to read the word of God, for from the Holy Scriptures there will come thoughts and ideas to your mind that will help you to know the truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Through these words your testimony will increase and it will be unquestionable, and you will have the knowledge that will help you to know that these things are true. Therefore, under the counsel of your Heavenly Father, seek these truths out. Let them become a part of your life and guide you that you may not fail in that which you should do, for I promise you that the Lord will take you by the hand and direct your footsteps if you will but seek him in faith and prayer."

I take this counsel personal because it was spoken to me in a blessing, but I believe that it applies to everyone.

Day 12: A Personal Relationship WithThe Savior

A Personal Relationship With The Savior, by James E. Foust

This speech was given by James E. Foust in October of 1976. I loved all of it. I will copy those parts that "spoke" to me when I read it... I want to have a closer personal relationship with my Savior. I know how to do that, I yearn as he mentions to understand in my mind what is in my heart (a feeling which I cannot give utterance to because it is so unspeakably personal). I know that my Savior lives but I don't fully comprehend what this means, I don't always think of him as a real person. I know that He loves me, I know that He understands everything about me and my life who has ever lived on this earth. I know who He is and the role that he plays in my life. I know how I can learn more about Him, and I know what I feel about him. But I have a hard time articulating exactly how I feel and exactly what having that knowledge of Him does for me. Elder Foust explains ways that we can "clear the channel for a daily flow of living water from... the Redeemer Himself."

Here are some excerpts from his talk...

“Is not the greatest need in all of the world for every person to have a personal, ongoing, daily, continuing relationship with the Savior?” (Missionary quoted). Having such a relationship can unchain the divinity within us, and nothing can make a greater difference in our lives as we come to know and understand our divine relationship with God. We should earnestly seek not just to know about the Master, but to strive, as He invited, to be one with Him (see John 17:21), to “be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man” (Eph. 3:16).

How can we receive the personal blessing of the Master’s divine and exalting influence in our own lives? Since our own feelings are sacred to us and cannot be disputed by others, let us begin with those quiet assurances which occasionally can come to all of us and which we know are true. We cannot always prove these verities to others, yet they come as a form of knowledge. Is this part of the divine which ferments within us, reaching to its source? Is it not like a personal witness of truth flowing through the thin curtain which separates this world from another?

May I suggest five beginning, essential measures which will greatly clear the channel for a daily flow of “living water” from the very source of the spring, even the Redeemer Himself.

First: A daily communion involving prayer. A fervent, sincere prayer is a two-way communication which will do much to bring His Spirit flowing like healing water to help with the trials, hardships, aches, and pains we all face. What is the quality of our secret prayers when only He listens? As we pray, we should think of Him as being close by, full of knowledge, understanding, love, and compassion, the essence of power, and as having great expectations of each of us.

Second: A daily selfless service to another. The followers of the divine Christ have to be weighed on the scales of what their actions are rather than on solemn professions of belief. The true measure is found in Matthew: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these…, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:40.) A wise man observed, “The man who lives by himself and for himself is apt to be corrupted by the company he keeps.” (See the original talk for the reference)

Third: A daily striving for an increased obedience and perfection in our lives. “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am,” said the Savior. (3 Ne. 27:27.) Because of the perfect atonement of Jesus, just men may be made perfect. (See D&C 76:69.)

Fourth: A daily acknowledgment of His divinity. To have a daily, personal relationship with the Master, we must be His disciples. “For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?” (Mosiah 5:13.)

Fifth: A daily study of the scriptures. President Kimball has said: “I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures, the distance narrows and the spirituality returns.” (See talk for reference)

Let us hear what eyewitnesses had to say about Jesus of Nazareth. The ancient apostles were there. They saw it all. They participated. No one is more worthy of belief than they. Said Peter: “For we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty.” (2 Pet. 1:16.) Said John: “For we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.” (John 4:42.) Modern-day witnesses, Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon, declared: “For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father.” (D&C 76:23.)

Peter counsels us to be “partakers of the divine nature.” (2 Pet. 1:4.) The influence and teaching of the Messiah should have a transcendence over all other interests and concerns in our lives. We must constantly be reaching upward for the riches of eternity, for the kingdom of God is within us. (See Luke 17:21.)

Speaking through the Doctrine and Covenants, God promises that you may be told in your minds and in your hearts, of whatsoever you ask, by the Holy Ghost. (See D&C 8:1–2.) By sanctifying yourselves, the day will come when “he will unveil his face unto you.” (D&C 88:68.) “If your eye be single to [His] glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.” (D&C 88:67)

In the many trials of life, when we feel abandoned and when sorrow, sin, disappointment, failure, and weakness make us less than we should ever be, there can come the healing salve of the unreserved love in the grace of God. It is a love that forgives and forgets, a love that lifts and blesses. It is a love that sustains a new beginning on a higher level and thereby continues “from grace to grace.” (D&C 93:13)

During the years of my life, and often in my present calling, and especially during a recent Gethsemane, I have gone to my knees with a humble spirit to the only place I could for help. I often went in agony of spirit, earnestly pleading with God to sustain me in the work I have come to appreciate more than life itself. I have, on occasion, felt the terrible aloneness of the wounds of the heart, of the sweet agony, the buffetings of Satan, and the encircling warm comfort of the Spirit of the Master.

I have also felt the crushing burden, the self-doubts of inadequacy and unworthiness, the fleeting feeling of being forsaken, then of being reinforced an hundredfold. I have climbed a spiritual Mount Sinai dozens of times seeking to communicate and to receive instructions. It has been as though I have struggled up an almost real Mount of Transfiguration and upon occasion felt great strength and power in the presence of the Divine. A special sacred feeling has been a sustaining influence and often a close companion.

It is my testimony that we are facing difficult times (this was 40 years ago, time are more difficult now). We must be courageously obedient. My witness is that we will be called upon to prove our spiritual stamina, for the days ahead will be filled with affliction and difficulty. But with the assuring comfort of a personal relationship with the Savior, we will be given a calming courage. From the Divine so near we will receive the quiet assurance: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; “And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” (D&C 121:7–8.) As I come to a new calling, I recognize that I am a very ordinary man. Yet I gratefully acknowledge one special gift. I have a certain knowledge that Jesus of Nazareth is our Divine Savior. I know that He lives. From my earliest recollection I have had a sure perception of this. As long as I have lived, I have had a simple faith that has never doubted. I have not always understood, yet still I have known through a knowledge that is so sacred to me that I cannot give utterance to it.

I know and I testify with an absolute awareness in every fiber and innermost recess of my being that Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, the Divine Redeemer, and the Son of God. May we be obedient to His wish, “Come unto me thy Savior” (D&C 19:41), I pray humbly in His holy and sacred name. Amen.

In addition to reading the Book of Mormon, I have been reading; Jesus The Christ for the first time, by James E. Talmage. The Holy Ghost witnesses to my soul that what I am reading about my Savior is true. That is helping my testimony of Him grow as I learn more about Him and His divinity.

Day 11: He hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words

One of God's purposes for having Prophets of old keep journals/scriptures, is so that we could have His word today, the day when the adversary is raging upon the earth, doing everything in his power to steal the hearts and souls of many...

Those who followed righteous Nephi (the Nephites) retained the scriptures when they departed the Lamanites, and “their souls were illuminated by the light of [God’s] everlasting word.
We are living in the latter days, brothers and sisters, in the fulness of times (Alma 5:7). We must remember that we have control over who we are no matter how difficult the world becomes. Like those in 1 Nephi, the true and faithful will be able to withstand the fiery darts of the adversary when he is loosed upon this earth. Despite all the turmoil in the world, when the Savior comes to His temple, as He did in the Book of Mormon, those who are true and faithful will be there. May we be among them, I so pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Holy Scriptures: The Power of God unto Our Salvation, Robert D. Hales

Day 10: With all the feeling of a tender parent...

Lehi exhorted his sons to keep the commandments of the Lord. His sons who rebelled against everything he believed in. Those young men who were so far away from choosing the right, that they tried to kill their brother, Nephi ~ several times! I can only imagine how hard it would be to be the parent of a rebellious child (teenager or adult) ~ especially THAT rebellious. Our daughter is only 4. She listens to her parents (for the most part), and mirrors the choices that we make. She chooses wisely, because she wants to have rewarding results. We try to be selective of which battles we take on with her, and at her age she still trusts us. The more independent she wants to become, the more we see how her desire to listen to us and trust us becomes less and less. My husband and I have adopted the parenting style of "Love and Logic". We believe that natural consequences are much better teachers than any other form of teaching or preaching or disciplining. It also takes the pressure of personal responsibility away from us and gives it to her, where it belongs.

We have both watched her learn and turn away from bad choices much quicker and longer lasting when she understands choice and accountability and consequences. She knows that we love her ~ no matter what, and that it's choices that bring happiness or unhappiness, not lack of love or respect from us. For the most part, she gets to choose her actions, but she doesn't get to choose the consequences. That is also how God works too but on a much grandeur scale. His love for us in unconditional, but consequences are inseparably connected with choices.

In my naivety, I have always believed that if our children feel loved by us, they will trust us and follow our lead. But that thinking can lead to despair and devastation if their choices don't turn out to be what we expect them to be. God loves us. We feel His love. How does that effect our choices? Sometimes it doesn't. Laman and Lemuel show us that love or lack of love from their parents has nothing to do with their choices. They still get to choose like we do, and sometimes their choices are not what we want them to make. Lehi is a great example of a parent who doesn't give up his role of being a loving parent; exhorting with tenderness, praying for them, making the choices that he wants them to make, preaching to them and then letting go (see 1 Nephi 8:37, 38). Do the choices that our kids make have anything to do with our parenting abilities? God knows, ask Him.

Lyrics to Families Can Be Together Forever

1. 1. I have a fam'ly here on earth.
   They are so good to me.
   I want to share my life with them through all eternity.
2. (Chorus)
   Fam'lies can be together forever
   Through Heav'nly Father's plan.
   I always want to be with my own family,
   And the Lord has shown me how I can.
   The Lord has shown me how I can.
3. 2. While I am in my early years,
   I'll prepare most carefully,
   So I can marry in God's temple for eternity.

Day 9: Let Your Light Shine

Elder Neal A. Maxwell explains briefly in one of his speeches, that the Tree of Life, being The love of God, is most profoundly expressed to us in the gift of Jesus as our Redeemer. To partake of the Love of God is to partake of Jesus' atonement and the emancipation (freedom from bondage) and joys which it can bring. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoso believeth in Him should no perish, but have everlasting life!" John 3:16

I took this reading passage and assignment in a different direction today, to make it personal for me. In the passage and talk that I read today, I thought about God's work and glory, which is to bring our immortality and eternal life to pass. I thought about the role that Christ plays in helping God fulfill His work and glory, and about our role. "The Lord has made it clear that each of us has a responsibility to exert an influence for good in the lives of those who share this mortal experience with us. We cannot live in isolation from others and still fulfill the purpose of our existence. Our actions, our words, our thoughts, and our values will inevitably affect the souls of those whose lives brush against ours. If fact, the Lord himself said that this influence may continue to reverberate long after we have departed, even to the ensuing generations. (See Mosiah 13:13.) This is an awesome prospect. When we contemplate the power we have for perpetrating both good and evil in the lives of others, we have good reason to search for careful understanding of this power." Dean L. Larsen

If you have never experienced the Love of God like Lehi explains; "it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy", pray with all the energy of heart that you might be filled with this love (Moroni 7:48). Our Father bestows this love upon all who are true followers of His Son, so that we may become the sons (and daughters) of God. I believe that we cannot influence others without love, because without charity, the pure love of Christ, we are nothing! I also believe that we cannot love anyone with Christ's love without first feeling it ourselves. 1 John 4:19

Day 7: I Know That My Redeemer Lives!

Today I read Lehi's and Sariah's testimonies. When Sariah feared for their son's lives, Lehi comforted her with his testimony; "I know that The Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban, and bring them down again unto us in the wilderness." She was comforted by his words before they arrived, but it wasn't until they did that she was able to KNOW. When they returned, she said; "Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them." And they rejoiced exceedingly, ...and gave thanks unto the God of Israel.

Testimonies strengthen us in times of doubt and fear. The testimony that I have of Jesus Christ is what is carrying me through the hardest trial of my life right now. I know that He lives and loves me. When I focus on that fact, all of my fears disappear and I am filled with peace and hope. There is nothing that is too hard for the Lord. With Him as my advocate, there is nothing that we can't do.

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Click to watch a video on The Savior's life and resurrection.

I add my testimony to Samuel Medley's testimony (the author of that song), that my Redeemer lives!  

He lives to bless me with his love. I feel His love every day. 

He lives to plead for me above. He is my advocate, I do not stand alone.

He lives my hungry soul to feed. When my soul is empty, He feeds my soul!

He lives to bless in time of need, always there waiting to bless me with what I need, when I need it!

He lives to grant me rich supply. He has never let me go without the things that I need. 

He lives to guide me with his eye. He watches over me, giving me the strength to do the right thing.

He lives to comfort me when faint. Those times when I have nothing left to give, His love lifts me and heals me and gives me strength to rise above my circumstances.

He lives to hear my soul's complaint. Sometimes He offers His understanding, and other times He chastens me in my weakness.

He lives to silence all my fears. His word and His love encourage me to live in faith and hope.

He lives to wipe away my tears. His compassion and empathy are always felt.

He lives to calm my troubled heart with a peace that no one else can offer!

He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly Friend.

He lives and loves me to the end.

He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.

He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath.

He lives, and I shall conquer death.

He lives my mansion to prepare.

He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

"I know that my Redeemer lives!"

Samuel Medley died of a painful illness in 1799. I am curious if this is when he wrote this song (during the time of likely his greatest trial of his life). I don't know when he wrote it, I'll have to do some more research. But I do know that it is only through the hardest of times that this type of a testimony is built. I know that because that is the case for me. I have always believed, and right now my belief is turning to knowledge!

I know that He lives and loves me. That knowledge give me strength to carry on in my darkest moments. When I am doing the best I can and bad things are still happening; he is there to comfort me and buoy me up. When I feel alone or misunderstood, I know that He understands. I know that He will make everything right when it needs to be made right. He fights my every battle. He calms my every fear. He loves me without condition. And it is through my belief that I am able to feel it. 

He did. He does. He is. He will!

Day 6: He Knows!

I read 1 Nephi 4:20 - chapter 5:6 today. This is the part of Nephi's story where he obtained the plates of brass from Laban and then traveled back with this brothers to their parents' tent in the wilderness. I have always wondered why God did not make this task easier for them. Wouldn't it have been much easier if He would have said; "Before you head out into the wilderness, stop by Laban's house and get the brass plates from him? And then swing by Ishmael's house, take his daughters as wives for your sons and bring them with you." It would have been easier, but what would they have missed out on if He did that? The experiences that provided trials and blessings for building patience; trust in the Lord; humility; trust in their father and husband, Lehi; determination; working together, etc. The talk that I read today is found in the Liahona, entitled Enduring Well, by Elder Neil A. Maxwell. "Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us." He said.

"Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend.

Revealed truths reassure us that we are enclosed in divine empathy. As Enoch witnessed, we worship a God who wept over needless human misery and wickedness (see Moses 7:28–29, 33, 37). Jesus’ perfect empathy was ensured when, along with His Atonement for our sins, He took upon Himself our sicknesses, sorrows, griefs, and infirmities and came to know these “according to the flesh” (Alma 7:11–12).

He did this in order that He might be filled with perfect, personal mercy and empathy and thereby know how to succor us in our infirmities. He thus fully comprehends human suffering. Truly Christ “descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things” (D&C 88:6)." Knowing this allows me to endure the trials that I am asked to bear. I know that Christ is right there beside me, watching me, empathizing with me and pulling for me to make it through gracefully and graciously, like He did. In all of my aloneness, the suffering that I experience that no one else understands, Christ is there with all wisdom and all understanding. Every pain that I feel, every fear that I experience that causes my heart to ache unnoticed by others, He knows! Click this link to hear a song that inspires the testimony that is in me, sung by Jeremy Camp.

Day 5 - Blessings from keeping the commandments

1 Nephi 4 1-19: What great blessings have you seen in your life as you have been obedient and were faithful in keeping the commandments of The Lord?

• The blessing of always having my temporal needs met, from obeying the law of Tithing.
• The blessing of having the Spirit guide me in my every day decisions; large and small.
• The blessing of seeing God's hand in my life; His tender mercies, the love notes that he leaves for me everywhere I look. I think of Him, I pray to Him, I know he's there and I witness His love for me and everyone else around me.
• The blessing of peace and happiness regardless of what is going on around me.
• The blessings of whatever it is that I need to help me make it through tough times. Sometimes I need confidence, sometimes humility, other times courage, patience, charity or hope. He blesses me with what I need to help His purposes get accomplished.
• Peace of mind
• Love For Him. Love for myself and love for others with that same love.
• Freedom from regret or other painful consequences

I know there's more, but right now I need to put it on hold and take care of my little one...

Tell Me The Stories Of Jesus

I am starting a new Book of Mormon reading schedule. I have been reading since January 1st (like everyone else does on January 1st of every year), but now I want some study helps. I want to get more out of reading the Book of Mormon than I ever have and gain a testimony of Christ and His gospel more than I have to this point in my life.

My mom told me about BOM365, an app for Instagram. I started yesterday and will either try to catch up to their schedule or go at my own pace. I will use this blog as a way to journal about my journey.

DAY 1 (01-30-16) How can we teach our children to have faith in Christ?

When my daughter feels overwhelmed with a problem, sad about something that seems hopeless, or worried about something that she can’t get over, I remind her to pray. The Savior can do ANYTHING and He will help us do what we need to do when we ask Him. I remind her that He will help us to be happy, help us find something that is lost, help us feel love for someone when they hurt us and help us to forgive. He will help us, guide us, and love us. We can turn to Him in any moment every day. I sing songs of faith and praise and turn to Christ myself when I feel down. I love the scriptures, I tell her stories to help instill faith in her and I turn to prayer myself. She hears me pray, she knows I believe in Him and His omnipotent power. She follows my lead. She does what I do and believes what I believe. BUT for some reason I feel like most of my efforts are in teaching her. I want to instill these things in her. I want her to make a right choice because it is the right thing to do; not because I say so, but because she wants to.

The suggested article for today is “Tell Me The Stories of Jesus” by Neil A. Anderson. I would highlight the parts that spoke to me, but it would be the whole thing! I take them as instructions for me personally of how to instill a testimony in her. It can't be done in Family Home Evenings or simply taking her to church every Sunday, or even reading the scriptures to her on a regular basis, it has to be done over time in every day situations, allowing her to apply these truths to herself in her own life. It has to come from me, from my study of Christ's life and from the way I speak of and live His gospel. 

Here it is...

"Have our children visualized the pre-mortal council, where Jesus—the greatest of all—declared, “Here am I, send me”?  Do they see their own willingness to serve as following His example? Do they think about His humble birth, the Savior of the world lying in a manger?  Do His circumstances help them better understand the proper place of material possessions? Do they know that Jesus often taught, “Ask, and ye shall receive”?  Do His prayers of thankfulness and His pleadings to His Father flow through our children’s minds as they kneel in prayer with their own concerns? Have we told them of the love Jesus has for children, how He held them in His arms, prayed for them, and wept?  

Do our children know that Jesus stands ready “with open arms to receive [them]”?  Do they take strength in the stories of Jesus fasting — as we teach them the law of the fast? In their own loneliness, do our children know the loneliness the Savior felt as His friends deserted Him and as He asked His Apostles, “Will ye also go away?” Have our children felt the power of the Savior’s miracles? Jesus healed the leper, gave sight to the blind. He fed the 5,000, calmed the sea, and raised Lazarus from the dead. 

Do our children believe that “it is by faith that miracles are wrought,” and do they pray for miracles in their own lives? Have our children taken courage from the Savior’s words to the ruler of the synagogue: “Be not afraid, only believe”? Do our children know about His perfect life, His selfless ministry, His betrayal and cruel Crucifixion? Have we testified to them of the certainty of His Resurrection, of His visit to the Nephites in the Americas, of His appearance to the Prophet Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove? 

Do they anticipate His majestic return, when all will be made right and every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ?  Do our children say, “Tell me the stories of Jesus I love to hear”?  As you reverently speak about the Savior—in the car, on the bus, at the dinner table, as you kneel in prayer, during scripture study, or in late-night conversations—the Spirit of the Lord will accompany your words. As you do your best, the testimony of Jesus will gently distill upon your children’s hearts. They will go to their Heavenly Father in humble prayer and feel His influence through the power of the Holy Ghost. A stronger personal faith in Jesus Christ will prepare them for the challenges they will most surely face."

Scripture to memorize: "And now (Sheri) remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. " Helaman 5:12

Combating Pornography

Our stake has been invited to attend three workshops on Combating Pornography. All stake and ward members are encouraged to attend. There are hundreds of couples in our stake who are struggling with this battle, more than any of us would care to imagine. The adversary uses this tool to destroy many lives and eternal marriages. It can be extremely addictive. Even though it can be overcome with the atoning power of our Savior, avoiding its grip would save a lot of heartache and suffering. 

We need to educate ourselves and our children about its effects and the seriousness and reality of the hold that it can have on any of us. Pornography interferes with respect and intimacy and confuses participants with enticement and lust; calling evil good and good evil. It robs men and women who participate in it of the Spirit, by mocking eternal love and womanhood. Christ tells us in Matt 5:28, "...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

The church provides several means for support to those who struggle with this, but prevention is the easiest way to combat it before the temptation ever starts. Awareness and avoidance prevents the temptation from having any effect. The first of these three workshops will be held on January 21st. A panel discussion with local Priesthood leaders, church members and professionals from LDS Family Services will address us. The next workshop; "Intervention", will be held on February 18th. And at the third workshop they will address "Healing". All of these will take place at the American Fork Tabernacle; 110 East Main Street In American Fork at 7:pm. If you want to learn more on this subject before Thursday, read any or all of the articles posted on LDS.org or watch a video or two.

There are church support groups for those who are struggling to overcome pornography and ones designed for family members. Don’t struggle or suffer alone! For more information on the church’s Addiction Recover Program, go to arp.lds.org

Searching for John

Family History Work,  preparing our family members to receive the blessings of Eternal Life...

This post is for me to provide resources and Family Search suggestions, more than telling my story about my ancestor; JOHN WILLIAM KREBS.

My Great, Grandfather’s name is John William Krebs. He was born in 1875 in South Weber, Davis County, Utah. When he was 5 years old his father (same name) disappeared. I have been hooked on searching for any information I can find on him for about a year! Family Tradition says…

   1. He was born in Ireland (or Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada) on February 22, 1844.
   2. He was married to Hannah Maria Firth Winks around 1873 in South Weber, Utah.
   3. He lived in South Weber in 1880 (around the time that he disappeared). Their name was listed in the US Census for that area as Cribbs.
  4. He had three children; John William born 1875, Lola born 1877, and George born 1879.
  5. He was baptized and confirmed on November 9, 1889.
  6. He died in Idaho Falls, Bonneville County, Idaho on February 9, 1919.
  7. Temple work was done for him in 1975; where he was sealed to Hannah and to two people who we have not been able to confirm as his parents.

That last one is why I am working so hard to confirm his information and confirm or get the correct temple work completed. I also feel drawn to learn details about his life. No one knows when or where he was actually born or who his parents or siblings are (or if he had any). Why did he leave his wife and young family? What was his childhood like? I might not find all these details before I get to meet him in the next life, but everything that I find now is like finding treasures! *Keep in mind I am new at this. I will add updates to this post (after the last paragraph), if someone adds or makes corrections to my suggestions.

Our family has been searching for John for over 60 years! That was enough for me to take on the challenge of finding him. This is my first experience with Family History. Sometimes I regret that, sometimes I’m glad that I started on a difficult “investigation”, because of all that I am learning! Every other ancestor that I investigate is a breeze compared to him. I am doing small amounts of research and data integrity verification for other family members, but I always go back to John. For some reason I feel like he is where I need to focus my efforts right now. I even landed a temporary, part-time job, working for the Salt Lake Family History Library, knowing that this would allow me to search for him (and others) every day!

The Family History Library has paid and voluntary consultants who are trained to help guests. Two months ago I found a pension receipt on Fold3.com (you get limited access to this site as a registered member of Family Search and 100% free access when you are in the Family History library). I was referred by a consultant to a clerk (Eugene Buck) who works with the National Archives Records Administration (NARA). For a small price he retrieved a copy of John’s Pension Application. I sent him an e-mail (ebuck43@aol.com) with the information about the document that I was looking for and he sent me back a 20 page Application with an invoice for his services.

Gene is on the hunt right now to help me find John’s Army enrollment application and medical records. From the application, I discovered that he was actually born in 1838 in Baltimore, Maryland (or at least that’s what he said). He married Hannah in Evanston, Utah; a town in Summit County that existed for 3 months. They lived in South Weber and Burley, ID. When he filled out this application, he was in Idaho Falls, having no knowledge at that time where his children were living. He had a bullet wound scar on his left calf and one in the middle of his forehead from his service in the Army during one of the Indian Wars (1866 thru 1869).

I also learned from Sons of Utah Pioneers (SUP) that he worked for Union Pacific Railroad around 1869 in Omaha, NE.

I have searched hundreds of birth records, census records, marriage, death, and cemetery records. I have searched land ownership records and probate records on microfilm, books and online. I have learned about The Indian War, about the early settlers in South Weber and Idaho Falls. I have learned all about my other ancestors who were directly related to him; his wife Hannah, her family, their children, their grandchildren, his step-children, neighbors, friends, and their enemies all for the efforts to find any information that I can find on him. I got off on tangents. I ran circles. I reinvented many, many, many wheels to confirm his information and look for more clues. I discovered a lot, but I also added to my list of facts that I need to find and/or confirm.

I am learning all about organization and task management. I’m an Executive Secretary by occupation. Organization and multi-tasking is the entire nature of that position, but I have never had to organize so much information or manage so many tasks for one person! I am gaining the skills of paying close attention to details, and remembering them (another skill that I am developing). I am gaining a love for my ancestors and a deep respect for what they endured in their lives, nothing compared to what I think I have to endure. I am learning how to stay focused, stay on task, prioritize, and follow through ~ tons of following through!

Here is a list of some of my favorite sites. Some of them are free from any computer; all of them are free when you are in the FHL.
• 19th Century British Library Newspaper Digital Archive
• The American Civil War (via Alexander Street Press): Research Database, Letters and Diaries, Images, Photographs, Posters, and Ephemera, Social and Cultural History, Women and Social Movements in the United States
• American Ancestors (by New England Historical Genealogical Society)
• Ancestry.com - (in the library, you get the Institution Version)
• Findmypast - (in the library, you get the Institution Version)
• The Genealogist
• Historic Map Works - (in the library, you get the Library Edition)
• Kinpoint - (in the library, you get the Premium Edition)
• MyHeritage - Library Edition
• Access Newspaper Archive
• Paper Trail
• ProQuest Obituary Listings
• Puzzilla.org - Premium Services
• World Vital Records - All content has been added to MyHeritage.com (who purchased WVR).

In order to get free Premium access to these sites, type fhc.familysearch.org in your internet browser when you are at the library. Go to the Genealogical Research section and click on Premium Family History Websites. The Family History Center in our area is at the American Fork Tabernacle on 100 East and Main Street. I will provide more information here when I get it.

Family Search, Family History, Genealogy, whatever you’re doing, whatever you call it; it’s not for wimps or “old” people (like I used to think)!  

If you like reading, researching, investigating, writing, analyzing, organizing, tracking, planning, finding and/or problem solving, you will love Family History! But just a warning; once you get started, you’ll be hooked! That’s what the Spirit of Elijah does; it brings the hearts of the children to their fathers (and mothers) and the hearts of the fathers to their children. See LDS.org for more on "The Spirit of Elijah".

Being Financially Prepared

My Visiting Teacher asked me to help her for a few minutes in her lesson last Sunday. Her lesson was on Temporal and Spiritual Welfare. This is one thing that I have not written about yet on this blog. I have never considered it a strength of mine, in fact it served as a reminder that I needed. The topic that she gave me to share my thought on was section # 4 “The Peace and Contentment that comes when we save a portion of our earnings and avoid unnecessary debt.”  Helping with this lesson solidified these things in my mind and has proven to be perfect timing for me for two reason; first, my husband’s new job and second, Christmas Shopping.

I only had a few minutes, so I didn’t say all of this, but this is the full version of what I compiled before the lesson and I promised to post it here…

My grandfather was so great at saving money and staying out of debt. He counseled us to pay tithing and fast offerings first and then 10% to personal savings, but I am certain that he exceeded that counsel. I think he paid his tithing, paid his bills and saved the rest. With his savings in addition to insurance, he was able to take care of his family long after he passed away; my grandmothers’ 24 hour home health care and hospital bills before she passed away, my aunts’ home healthcare before she passed away and my father’s health care and living expenses (at the age of 75)! That is being prepared and leaving his family protected against financial storms.

I just want to highlight a few points that were made in this section of the lesson that spoke to me and talk about why and how this topic supports yet another way for us to be prepared for the unexpected…

The first thing that I quoted was; “The Lord desires his Saints to be free and independent in the critical days ahead. But no man is truly free who is in financial bondage.”

Pointing to myself I said; “This is what financial bondage looks like…” And then I said; “I’m sure I could be much worse.” But the truth is I could be better too. We don’t have any money saved right now. We live month to month, paycheck to paycheck. If we have anything extra after we pay our bills, we buy things that we want. Among those bills is one credit card that I use for emergencies and payments on our “new” fridge that we bought a year ago. We also have debt with the IRS, because of my husband’s self-employment job and unfortunate circumstances that were created by our CPA. 

If we had been able to make a few sacrifices and had money in savings, instead of buying what we wanted, we would have $200 extra each month right now to put into savings. Our fridge would have been bought with cash and our emergency expenses would have been covered. But instead we are in bondage, paying for things that we needed in the past in addition to interest and sometimes late fees.

Another quote from the lesson is this; “More than ever before, we need to learn and apply the principles of economic self-reliance. We do not know when the crisis involving sickness or unemployment may affect our own circumstances. We do know that the Lord has decreed global calamities for the future and has warned and forewarned us to be prepared. For this reason the Brethren have repeatedly stressed a “back to basics” program for temporal and spiritual welfare.”

Economic self-reliance…  Preparing for the Unexpected… The Brethren said it. That’s enough for me.

“In the long run, it is easier to live within our income and resist borrowing from future reserves except in cases of necessity – never for luxuries. It is not fair to ourselves or our communities to be so improvident in our spending that the day our income stops we must turn to relief agencies or the Church for financial aid.”

“Do not, I solemnly urge you, tie yourselves to payment of carrying charges that are often exorbitant. Save now and buy later, and you will be much further ahead. You will spare yourselves high interest and other payments, and the money you save may provide opportunity for you to buy later at substantial cash discounts.”

“Brothers and Sisters, peace and contentment come into our hearts when we live within our means. God grant us the wisdom and faith to heed the inspired counsel of the Priesthood to get out of debt, to live within our means, and to pay as we go – in short, to “pay thy debt, and live.”

My husband and I talked about this yesterday. He started a new j.o.b. that will bring us consistent income. He has been self-employed our entire marriage. This new job will provide security and consistency, allowing us to create and live within a budget. We will pay tithing and fast offerings before we pay anything else and after bills, pay off our debts. 

Eventually, hopefully sooner than later, we will be able to save the money that we have been putting into debt payments. For awhile we will be tight, living within our means and paying all excess debt that we have. Christmas is coming up. We will be simple in our gift giving and receiving this year (we came up with that plan in our discussion about this lesson). I know that the Lord will bless us as we follow this counsel. And in the long run it will all be worth it; the sense of peace and contentment and security will be worth it all.

Gratitude Brings Peace, Creates Joy and Instills Faith

Teachers and Missionaries are taught that expressing gratitude is one of the ways of inviting the Spirit into their discussions. It is among prayer, praising God in song and testifying of God's truths. To me that says expressing gratitude is important to God; the Spirit dwells where there is gratitude. 

November is the month for giving thanks. When I used to Facebook, I posted one thing every day in November, that I was thankful for. That was a good practice for me for one month, once a year. But my sense of gratitude ended shortly after I stopped focusing on my life through "Gratitude" lenses.

 Last year in our efforts to cultivate gratitude, our family started a practice of sharing with each other, one thing that we are thankful for, every day at dinner. 

We wrote them in a book and drew pictures or glued a photo to make it a keepsake. After about a month, our gratitude practice ended. We stopped when things got busy, not because we didn't have time, but because we didn't think about it. So we're giving it another shot this year. Like any other trait we want to acquire, we need to keep practicing gratitude. 

It's easy to be grateful for the things that make us happy. But when we make an effort to be grateful in the middle of our trials, we find joy, which by definition is greater than happiness, because it lasts beyond our circumstances. It is true, a grateful heart is a happy heart. I know that for a fact. 

BUT let me clarify here... When you are in the middle of trauma that is caused by unfortunate circumstances in your life, pain is deep ~ naturally! It won't be fixed by cultivating happy thoughts and that should not be expected by anyone. It's not bad or weak or broken, if you can't feel gratitude during those times. But I testify to you, that Christ will lift you when you turn to Him during those heavy times. I will show you how that works in a minute. Gratitude invites the Spirit and creates joy. I have a testimony of that.

In 1 Peter:1:7, Peter taught; "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." I feel the Savior closest to me during the most difficult times of my life. I find strength and light, comfort, growth, healing and peace through Christ. The peace that only Christ has to offer. He wants me to know that He is there and He shows me that through His tender mercies every day, sometimes several times a day. He also wants me to notice and remember the blessings of my trials. For that and other things that I am learning, I am extremely thankful!

The law of opposition does its finest work in our toughest trials, when we look to Christ for support. I learned the value of feeling drained emotionally, when I felt passion the very next day. I learned that in order for me to experience and appreciate beauty, I needed to experience ugliness. I need to feel insecurities, to know what genuine self-love and confidence feels like. I need to experience "humanness" and "life" to feel empathy and connection with others. And I need to truly repent to know true forgiveness. I know about the law of opposition; I learn these things from the scriptures. But it wasn't until I started experiencing opposition myself on a regular basis, that I really started to get it! "I must go through the valley to stand upon the Mountain of God", like that song says that is sung by The Christian band, Third Day.

Christ went through trials of loss, anger, abandonment, temptations, sadness and heartache to gain empathy for me. He stayed faithful to His Father's will through all of it. He is our best example of Gratitude! Job is also a good example, he praised God in his blessings and his trials. And as we know, he had plenty of trials! I also love the example of Nephi in the Book of Mormon. In 2nd Nephi, Chapter 4, Nephi acknowledged his trials. His father ~ his best friend in life ~ just died and members of his family were blaming him for their afflictions, some were even threatening his life. In the middle of his "humanness", his sadness and fears and frustrations, he turned his heart (like a super power) to delighting in the things of God.

In verse 17, he says; "Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth; O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities." I believe that he is referring to his lack of faith or ingratitude as iniquities. I can tell myself this, like Nephi is telling himself... 28 "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." <--(Satan)

Read 2 Nephi chapter 4 to learn more about what a super-power like faith is from someone who has a grateful heart. He said in vs. 34 "O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever, I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh.. 35 I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold my voice shall forever ascend unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God."

Gratitude fasts are a good way to develop abilities that we need that are beyond our natural "human" abilities. Gratitude is being thankful before the blessings come, because you know that God WILL deliver. Instead of asking God for what you need or want, you thank Him for what he has already done for you; for always taking care of your needs and the needs of your loved ones. By doing this, you leave everything in God's hands and you can relax about needing to have control with the outcome. It is that faith that brings miracles.

One year before our daughter was born, my husband and I flew across the country to adopt a baby girl. A baby that we considered to be ours for 7 months. The baby that we named and spent thousands of dollars on in Social Work and Attorney fees and travel expenses. The one that had a birth mom that we grew close to, that we called Baby Mama and a birth dad that we called Baby Daddy (among other names that weren't quite as friendly). When the day came for us to take "our baby" home, Baby Daddy changed our plans. He refused to sign the papers to relinquish his rights, leaving mom with no other choice but to keep their baby.

I am thankful that God didn't listen to us in our broken hearts, begging and pleading with Him; "We'll do ANYTHING to have this baby! Soften Baby Daddy's heart, WHATEVER IT TAKES! Give Baby Mamma courage to do the RIGHT thing!"

This trial brought us closer together as a couple and closer to God. It showed us who our true friends are, it brought us closer to many of you, and it brought us our daughter who we adore more than life itself. Our daughter's birth mom watched us go through that trial. If we hadn't gone through that trial the way that we did, she may have turned to an adoption agency, instead of us to find a family for her baby, an agency with whom we were not associated.

God knows what He is doing, of that I testify to you. I am thankful to God for His Restored Gospel; for the strength and peace and knowledge that it provides, for the Principles and Priesthood Ordinances that provide us with hope and security and power and miracles! I stand as a witness of His miracles and tender mercies. I am thankful for every relationship that I have, especially the more difficult ones that help me to grow.

I am thankful for my health and the health of my family members, and our illnesses that cause us to depend on our loving and nurturing Father in Heaven. I am thankful for my husband's business and his talents and ambition in providing for our temporal needs and those times when we struggle financially, because of the miracles that we witness in our times of need. And for my husband and our adorable daughter who provide the perfect combination of joy and fun and struggles that all work together to make my life beautiful and fulfilling!

And more than any other blessing that I have, I am thankful for the knowledge and power that I am given because of Christ's Atonement. He suffered and died for ME! I am thankful for life's toughest moments, the refining fires that I need to make my life, with everything and everyone in it, more precious than gold!